Sitting blankly at my fish-farm desk staring at the monitor, feeling bored.... so I thought I'd listen to a song, and this is the song I ended up hearing...
[ This goes way back further than my age should allow ^^ ]
The title itself makes a person emotional... "It's Now or Never"…
There are times in life like that... when you think, "If I hadn't done it that way then, wouldn't it have remained a permanent regret now?" Cruelly, the things we experience in life always have their own timing, and it's frustrating that most opportunities only come once. So I believe that whatever comes to mind should be acted on right away. Otherwise, that chance may never come again. Whether it's business, filial devotion, or love... I've come to feel more and more, the longer I live, that leaving that moment and place behind carries a strong chance of long-lasting regret.
Since I'm the youngest, both my parents are quite elderly. My father is the healthier one. Looking at health alone, my mother seems much sturdier, but in truth she's often unwell. Lately my father has been showing signs of his strength declining bit by bit, which worries me. He still has that once bull-like presence, but there are moments now that remind me of his age. I don't get to see him often, but seeing that makes me think I should express my feelings to them more often before it's too late.
Because my parents have lived together so long relying on each other, I worry that if one of them loses their health, the other will feel deeply empty. Even with children by their side in old age, the gap left by time shared with a spouse would be far greater for them. So I feel it's more important than anything to tell my parents I love them and to treat them well.
It's the first day of the new year, and the cloudy weather today made me think of my parents even more. I'm truly grateful that they're both still by my side, but at the same time, it's a moment that weighs heavy on my heart. They're the ones who worked hard and sacrificed for a scoundrel like me my whole life, yet I feel like I haven't properly repaid them... If only I'd given them less grief when I was young... but I'm still troubling them even now that I'm older, which just feels pathetic...
Still, I'm glad that recently I've been able to tell my mother and father, "Thank you. I love you." In the past I was too shy to even say a word like that... but now I know well that shouldn't be the case. Especially after seeing cases around me where dementia or a sudden health issue makes it impossible to even express such feelings anymore.
So I guess that's why this song is "Now or Never." If I don't convey my love and gratitude to my parents right now, I might regret it forever.
