I met a close younger sibling yesterday.
His shoulders were drooping.
When I asked why.
He can't focus on work
And says life has lost its vitality.
Since he can't sleep well at night, even when he goes to work, he has no energy.
I told him to take sleeping pills.
If that doesn't work,
I told him to get tested for depression.
He asks me.
Um, well,
Is there no way to live life in a more vibrant and dynamic way?
I advised him to get a divorce.
If you raise a child alone and work at a company,
It would become incredibly dynamic.
Of course, that was a joke.
Coming home, I thought deeply about it.
Actually, I have almost no such desires.
Life being vibrant and dynamic, each day shining.
My way of life is monotonous.
On weekdays, I go to work.
On weekends, I watch movies.
I used to occasionally meet acquaintances and have a drink or two.
But that disappeared after I quit drinking.
I used to travel frequently, but since corona, it seems I've only been once.
Thinking deeply about it,
Not only is my way of life monotonous, the way I cope with situations is also very simple.
When the boss asks me something at work,
I answer that what I know, I know,
And what I'm certain I don't know, what I don't know for sure, I answer that I don't know.
I hate pretending to know things vaguely and then getting tired later.
Just saying "I don't know" right there and admitting it immediately feels most comfortable.
When a colleague makes a mistake,
I keep my mouth shut even though I suffer for it.
The reason is,
Just because opening my mouth would feel embarrassing.
There's no particular reason.
What I know, I say I know.
What I don't know, I say I don't know.
What I know a little counts as not knowing.
So it seems I often say "I don't know" for most things.
Although I've lived in Indonesia for 24 years,
When someone asks me something, I say "I don't know" even more.
Actually, I don't know.
That's the truth.
If there are many desires, disappointment also comes greatly.
Indeed, my way of life is monotonous,
And the way I cope with situations is also monotonous.
If I were diligent, I would try many things and want to know many things,
But someone like me scribbling words every day
Is, in a way, a miracle.
