When I watch movies or stuff like that...
Young friends... I mean, among friends in their late teens and early twenties...
Especially when a guy is very kind to a girl and protects what needs to be protected...
Here, what I mean by "protecting" is, like, not being sexually aggressive first...
I really like those kinds of characters...
When I see those kinds of characters...
The girl usually confesses first or allows herself to love because she's moved by the guy's sincerity...
But when I think about it carefully...
The fact that I think those kinds of characters are great and admire them...
In other words, it might mean that I can't be like that...
It's just how people are originally...
We tend to admire the things we can't do...
I think that's probably it...
Being kind to girls, being gentle, having good manners...
I'm not sure if it's something you're born with, but it seems like it doesn't work well through education...
I myself think I'm fairly good, and while not necessarily a role model for others,
I take pride in being a decent member of society, but...
I'm not good at that...
So I thought about it carefully...
Why can't I do that...
I act crudely in front of women I meet for the first time...
I deliberately do the things I'm told not to do...
And my words and actions aren't very gentle either...
That's just how people are...
From childhood, we learn that if you act this way, people don't like it...
It's not taught in school, but we learn and absorb it ourselves...
It should be the same in relationships between men and women...
If from childhood it becomes ingrained that girls don't like you because you're not gentle to them,
There's a high chance you become gentle without realizing it...
But for me...
That never happened...
I don't get angry, but I do a lot of things people don't like and tease...
Even though I pretty much did whatever I wanted...
There was nothing wrong...
To sum it up...
It seems like everything is because of girls...
Acting crudely...
Doing things that are disliked...
Acting contrary, drinking and passing out anywhere...
Normally you shouldn't be treated as a person...
What is this...
It seems like I'm just waiting to drink and lose consciousness...
In the past, girls kept coming at me so much,
My wish was...
If my wish was to approach them first once, it was a small wish, but...
Now, everything is bothersome...
And I think it's already too late to become gentle...
Was this long today? Sorry...
