I'm a bit lacking when it comes to social skills..
Checking in calls..
Not many people have received one from me..
The friends I see when I go to Korea..
If I don't go back to Korea.. when friends gather to drink during the holidays, I get a video call..
We catch up then, and after that.. I barely call..
When I do go to Korea, I call to ask if they want to grab drinks..
Even when everyone switched to smartphones and was all about KakaoTalk..
I was still using a flip phone..
My boss told me to switch to a smartphone,
but I couldn't bring myself to throw away a perfectly good flip phone, so I just kept carrying it around,
and after putting up with it for so long, my boss ended up giving me a smartphone..
Facebook.. Twitter.. Cyworld.. I've never tried any of them..
I only first came across Band because of COVID, to read the news..
Naturally..
I'm out of touch with everyone except my close friends..
When I go to Korea, I only hear through friends things like, oh I heard he's doing such and such these days..
All but one of my friends are high school classmates,
so I don't really know what's going on with middle school.. elementary school.. or college classmates..
Honestly, there's no way for me to find out..
I hear that some people..
run into elementary school classmates on SNS,
but not only do I not use any of that at all,
I've been living abroad since my twenties, so there was never a chance of bumping into someone on the street either..
There are friends I think about from time to time..
but I just assume they're doing well..
That's as far as it goes..
I'm not really one for having lots of relationships,
and I had been living contentedly with my life as it is..
A few days ago..
My wife and I happened to get onto the topic of.. a girlfriend I had back in college..
I'm the type who just tells things as they are when asked,
so as I was answering this and that,
my wife asks..
Whether I'm still in contact with her..
Of course there's no way I would be..
I haven't seen her even once since we broke up,
and her phone number must have changed.. and I can't even remember the old number anyway,
so it would actually be strange if we were in contact..
I laughed and said, how could I possibly be..
But..
thinking about it carefully today,
I realized my wife had asked me that kind of question a few times before..
About my first love..
About a pretty girl who was in my class back in elementary school..
Every time those topics came up,
I remember she always asked if I was in contact with them..
I'm not even in contact with the girl I dated in college,
so there's no way I'd be in contact with someone I knew even earlier than that,
and back in elementary school we didn't even have cell phones,
so how on earth would I be in contact..
And it's not like I've ever gone to alumni reunions or anything like that..
A chilly feeling creeps over me along with some strange(?) thoughts..
Why did she ask if I was in contact with a classmate I knew decades ago when we were just snotty-nosed kids..
Of course that's out of the question..
The probability of that is essentially zero..
Suddenly I think of the Cyworld account my wife used to have..
She probably also looked up things like Facebook or elementary school classmate finders..
These days I hear she uses Instagram..
I suddenly arrive at the thought that I've never once looked through my wife's phone..
It has a password on it,
and it's an Apple phone, so I don't even really know what to press — yet I picture my wife every day holding that phone,
looking at things.. typing things.. giggling to herself..
Oh..
Everything is starting to make sense..
People tend to measure others by their own standards..
By my wife's standard, staying in contact with an elementary school boyfriend is perfectly normal..
Her first love is still reachable..
That big guy she said she dated before she met me — he was reachable too..
That's how it was..
My wife always reads what I write..
She's probably reading this right now too..
She'll have realized that someone as oblivious as me in that department(?) has caught on..
She might be thinking about what to say when she gets home..
Wondering if I'm going to ask to see her phone.. thoughts like that might be running through her head..
Before we talk at home,
I think it's better to say it here through this post first..
Honey..
Teach me how to do it too..
