We now know that we need to practice values-based discipline.
"No!", "Do it right!", "How many times have I told you?" - these kinds of behavior-control nagging only relieve the parent's emotions, anger, and frustration,
but we know scientifically and logically that it cannot actually change the child.
That is why we need to prepare values.
When a child misbehaves, we need to teach them the correct values regarding that behavior.
However, we cannot always be prepared for every mistake and every problematic situation.
So the advice I want to give you today is this.
Before getting angry, you must pick up a pen.
You must write it down.
Don't start by thinking about scolding the child right away; instead, write down the problem situation now.
Many parents think that if they don't correct the child right away, something terrible will happen, but that is absolutely not the case.
No matter how firmly or harshly you scold them, or even if you use physical punishment, the child will inevitably make the same mistake again next time.
Discipline is a long-term battle anyway.
Discipline can never be completed in one go.
No child listens by hearing it just once.
Therefore, you don't need to try to discipline perfectly right now.
The child will make the same mistake again next time anyway.
Discipline is a very long and lengthy war.
A strategy of one step back for two steps forward is needed.
"They will do it again next time, and then I'll teach them properly" - it is much more effective and strategic to simply make a memo for the next disciplinary moment with this mindset.
Discipline without preparation is emotional and illogical.
It can even backfire.
However, values-based discipline done with prior preparation will be able to penetrate the child's heart rationally and logically.
That is why you must write it down.
Just by writing it down, the situation improves.
And when you start writing down problem situations in a notebook, something amazing happens.
Emotional impulses are suppressed and you become able to think rationally.
In other words, you can suppress sudden emotional outbursts and calm your mind.
Words that come out in a moment of anger are not helpful at all.
"What are you doing?!", "Don't do that!", "Do it like that!" - these emotional statements are just venting nagging meant to relieve the parent's anger right now.
That is why you must write it down.
When you write it down, your mind becomes calm and you can instill the correct values in the next disciplinary opportunity.
The child's mistakes become opportunities instead.
Remember this.
A prepared parent is not flustered.
They are not swayed by emotion.
Because the situation was already anticipated and prepared for, they will rather see it as an awaited opportunity for discipline.
They can think, "Finally, the opportunity to teach what I prepared has come!" and even welcome it with joy.
And the parent no longer shouts.
They simply deliver the logically prepared values in a low voice.
Start from today.
A small notebook is all you need.
This is Step 1 of values-based discipline: noting down the child's problems.
